Gen’s question has been percolating since she posed it two months ago. There are a handful of decisions scattered throughout my past that still yield unrest, 99% – if not 100 – of which are directly correlated to some form of dishonesty that negatively impacted myself or others.

As happy as I would be to have taken some alternate routes back in the day, I can’t say that I would go back to rewrite my story. The heavy heart that I carry from my past reminds me to take a different road. And the joy that I experience on a day-to-day basis is the product of my experiences – including those fueling a heavy heart. I can genuinely appreciate both extremes.

SJ introduced me to one of her favorite quotes by poet Anne Bradstreet, which is pretty applicable to regret and appreciation: “If we had no Winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; If we did not sometimes taste adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”

Afterwards, my colleagues told me Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate’s characters were mocking Moviefone – who knew?!

Okay, let’s get down to business…

Ani DiFranco (from adamperrywrites.wordpress.com)

Ani DiFranco changed my life. I was a late bloomer as far as Ani goes, but her records dribbled in. I bought a cassette tape of hers the summer after my senior year in high school and a CD my freshman year of college. “Untouchable Face” was the second song I downloaded when I got my first computer (also my freshman year). But it wasn’t until my junior year of college when a then-girlfriend opened my eyes. M copied several of Ani’s albums for me and I embraced them all. I loved “Shy” and anything on To The Teeth. Right around that time, I scooped Ani’s second live album, So Much Shouting, So Much Laughter, and to this day I remember riding around campus at nite listening to the poem “Self Evident” – it changed my life forever. Ani encouraged the activist in me, which explains where I am today (facing up and singing!) And she spoke the language of my heart when I couldn’t. I feel quite indebted to the lady, and am grateful for the experience of her music.

Listen to it here.

Read it here.

The Festival opened with ‘The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister,’ a Regency-period picture about its namesake. Miss Lister was a well-off woman of the period – also a lesbian. She wasn’t out, but wasn’t necessarily closeted either. And she kept diaries of her trysts and relationships – but the entries were written in a code that took 150 years to break! They have also since discovered that Anne Lister drew a cross in the margin of the pages every time she had intercourse. Fascinating! Check out the BBC trailer here:

Next, I saw ‘A Marine Story,’ which follows a highly-ranked (would-be lifer) Marine after she’s discharged from the military as a result of the dinosaur don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy. Dreya Weber‘s performance as the lead was excellent (she also, with her husband Ned Farr, produced the film). I had a chance to chat with Troy Ruptash who plays Dreya’s character’s husband in the film, as well as his partner Craig Richey who produced the score – they were two of the nicest, most genuine folks I encountered during the Fest! Bias aside, I’m convinced this flick would do well as a mainstream release and wish the cast the best of luck getting it picked up.

My personal favorite going into the Festival was ‘Four-Faced Liar,’ and its debut at Frameline didn’t let me down! I love the synopsis on the comedy’s Facebook Fan Page: “A girl and a guy walk into a bar. They meet a girl and a guy. The guys talk about the girls. The girl falls for the girl. The guys don’t know…until they do.” That sums it up better than I ever could, particularly because I have an obnoxious school-girl crush on the movie…not to mention the fact that I’m totally impressed with the twentysomethings who wrote and rewrote the screenplay – they’re geniuses! Or just dedicated to their craft. Either is fine by me. But really, Marja-Lewis Ryan (who also plays a lead role in the film) originally wrote this for the stage. The production had a short run, during which someone pointed out that it would make for an excellent screenplay. So, Marja adapted it as such, and the group workshopped it for months prior to finally filming. The cinemetography is so fantastic – it actually reminds me of a film that my very favorite distributer, Focus Features, would release. I’ll toast to the kids who brought this story to life for quite some time, I’m sure.

I haven’t lived in a lot of places, but I’ve experience a few of the Nation’s varying climates. Chicago and Atlanta summers were colorful, full of life and had humidity levels that soared through the roof. Phoenix was notoriously dry – it was hot, but you didn’t always realize the extent of it once you became accustomed to the heat, so it was imperative to remain hydrated and avoid heat stroke. And San Francisco has no seasons. The weather is consistently volatile – one second it’s warm and the next is blustery, foggy and raining. Dislike!

Chicago summers are my favorite, but not enough to ever again want to endure those winters. Luckily, Wine Country in the North Bay is the perfect marriage of my favorite seasons. The winter is very Chicago-fall-esque, and summers are akin to Chicago’s, sans overwhelming humidity. In other words, it’s my dream local!

2007 Cannondale Synapse Feminine 4 at bikepedia.com

1. My bike. A Cannondale Synapse from the days when they were still made in the U.S.A. It’s not a racing bike, but it’s a decent road bike. I’ve logged about a thousand miles on it with some of my most favorite people (namely Bill and Beth), and together we’ve seen some of the most beautiful landscapes. It makes for great memories that are accompanied by anticipation for the next ride. I also love the solace that a bike beckons you to. Yes, relationships grow between packs and pairs on two wheels; but you can always drop back or sprint ahead and lose yourself in the monastery of each rhythmic crank.
2. Letters and cards from family and friends. I cherish the words of my loved ones – the way their handwriting changes over time and the stories they tell, deliberately or not. I keep most everything you have ever sent and always will…little legacies stored in a shoebox under my bed.
3. Photographs. See number two.

Glee's Sue Sylvester, played by Jane Lynch

Call me a product of pop culture, but my first thought on this one was someone working on the Fox sitcom, Glee. I’ll take anyone – an actor, producer, stagehand – you name it. As long as I get to partake in every ounce of fun and hard work that must go into the show’s weekly tapings. Being able to sing and dance would be a dream, but to do it every day in high school…with pyrotechnics!?! And the wit of Jane Lynch’s Sue Sylvester – yes, please!

On a more serious note, if a month provided enough time to make resounding decisions that would envoke positive social and environmental change, I would trade places with the world’s CEOs, policy makers, lobbyists and politicos to bring justice to our planet’s ecosystems and people.

Human greed dug the hole…but if we all made a conscientious decision to choose the planet over profits, we would be on the road to recovery.

I’m two weeks behind my GBP comrades, but here goes…

So, who or what in my life am I most grateful for? I’m most grateful for open hearts – my own and those of others. Open hearts have shown me kindness and love, opened doors for me and fulfilled many of my basic human needs. And on the flip side, I like to think my own open heart has enabled me to do the same.

I posed the same question to Nana. Without hesitation, she said, “I’m grateful for you, (my sister) Kelly, (my mum) Joann and (my aunt) Julie.” She followed up with her gratitude for the fact that I have a good job and a good partner (and I couldn’t agree more!) She told me she was grateful for all of the people she loves, and reminded me to never “turn down people that are family because they’ll be there in the end.”

I then said, “So, you’re grateful for the people in your life.” And she absolutely agreed.

She also expounded upon my gratitude for open hearts and asked me to never carry grudges, which I do think I’m succeeding at thanks to that open heart.

A humorous, but relevant, closer regarding grudges: Nana said, “I don’t hate anyone – I may get angry and tell someone I hate them, but I don’t mean it.”

It made me laugh, and I’m grateful to be able to do that, too.

I’m feeling pretty bah humbug this year. I’m tired, broke and grouchier about the weather than usual. The holiday season feels less like a joyful opportunity to reconnect and more like a train wreck of social, family and financial obligations.

But tis the season, so I’m bucking up and doing my frugal best to be festive. I’ve written quite a few gift guide articles for other people this year, not to mention letters to Santa.

Here’s my ABC guide to what I would like to get this Christmas:

Art: It’s my poorly advertised ambition to fill my house with beautiful artwork. In the past year, I’ve received gorgeous pieces from Molly Tomlinson, Nica Davidov and Rachel Silber. You who are artists, or inclined to shop for art: keep me in mind. I’m easy to please and a very appreciative audience.

Babysitting: Last year, Martin arranged a year’s worth of monthly dates for us with friends offering babysitting credits. This was THE BEST THING EVER. I would cheerfully take it again. And again. This is a great gift for me, and probably ever [sic] other parent.

Charity: I have a guest post up on Get Rich Slowly today about the value and importance of charitable giving. If you’re interested in giving on my behalf, or anyone else’s, check out Rowan’s terrific guide to charitable gift programs.

Note: if you’re inclined to go the non-consumer route and give a charitable tribute gift like Black mentions above, give a Piece of the Action from Rainforest Action Network! I know, I know! It’s shameless self-promotion, but it’s also oh-so-neat, and helps save the planet.